The Four Greek Words for Love
a
As a society, many of our values are derived from one concept: Love.
As you may have noticed, our language doesn’t have many words to describe the many different ways we can love. Many types of romantic love, familial love, love of friends, and even spiritual love are all bunched together under the guise of a singular concept.
The greeks approached this differently. They had many words to describe the distinct nuances found in each style of relationship. Here are four of them.
a
1. Eros
Eros translates directly from Latin as “Passionate Love” or “Romantic Love.” It is often thought of as the type of love that people “fall” into. The word eros comes from the Greek god Eros, who was the son of Aphrodite and the Greek equivalent to the Latin Cupid. This type of love is what can be called love at first sight, or being madly in love. It is often characterized as erratic, passionate, possessive, and highly superficial.
2. Agape
Agape or universal love is the purest form of altruistic love directed at strangers, nature, or God. It is said to be akin to the unconditional love that God has for everyone. This kind of love manifests itself in selfless acts and acting entirely out charity or concern for the world other than yourself. Agape is not motivated by pleasant feelings or results such as physical, emotional, or logical attractiveness. It is a conscious choice of self-sacrifice for the benefit of another.
3.Philia
Philia is the love between very close friends. Philia directly translates to “affectionate regard” and is often based upon Aristotle’s concept of goodwill. Aristotle believed that a person can bear goodwill if they are useful, pleasant, or virtuous. Friendships founded in mutual goodwill have trust, reliability, and companionship. These friendships are said to experience philial love for one another. This is not necessarily a romantic love, but it can in some circumstances be a part of a healthy love forged from previous friendship. This would be considered a crossroads between Eros and Philia.
4. Storge
Storge is a type of philia that is specific to families. It is often referred to as familial love, or the love between parents and children. This type of love is often unbalanced and dependent, which is entirely true of a parent’s unconditional love for their newborn child. This is the type of love that is said to make an imprint on our brains so that we know what love is for later in life when we develop. While we are growing up, our networks of oxytocin and vasopressin (neurotransmitters partly responsible for trust, social interactions, fear of others etc.) are developing based on the examples provided to us by our parents, based on the particular Storge that is available to us.
Today these concepts are further discussed by Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee in his “color wheel” theory of love. This theory is based on three proposed characteristics of love: mania, pragma, and agape. Mania meaning manic, pragma meaning pragmatic, and agape meaning altruistic.
